You’ve taken the first step and made an appointment for your child with a therapist – now what? It’s very typical for parents to be nervous about telling their child that they are going to see a therapist. Meeting with someone new can be scary and uncomfortable, especially if your child is not used to sharing emotions or doesn’t recognize that they need help. How you talk to your children about therapy can set their mind at ease and make them more prepared for their first session. Here are some tips:
1. Normalize Therapy
For young kids, many times parents will describe a therapist as “a feelings doctor.” We can explain to kids that when their teeth hurt, they go to the dentist, if they have a virus, they go to the pediatrician so when their feelings are not right, we talk to a therapist to help us with our feelings. A therapist, like any other doctor, has the same goal: to make you feel better. It helps to talk about therapy as something that will help the child rather than making them feel like something is wrong. By talking openly about some of the concerning behaviors that you see, you are modeling that it’s not something to be embarrassed about. Choose your words carefully- we don’t want kids to think something is wrong with them, rather changing behavior and habits is difficult, so a therapist is someone to help them with it.
2. Choosing the Right Time
Choose a time when both you and your child are well rested and calm and give the child a few days’ notice before their appointment. Your child may have a lot of questions and it’s ok to not have all the answers. You can join your child with this curiosity and state, “I am not sure what the answer is, but we can ask when we get there.” Therapists recognize that this could be an overwhelming experience for young kids and are typically open to parents joining the session until the child is confident enough for the parent to leave. Be patient with your child and reassure them that you will be with them until they are comfortable as they will get the most out of therapy when they feel safe and at ease.
3. Have Them Bring Something to Share About Themselves
Many kids worry about the unknown so going to see a therapist for the first time can produce a lot of worries. Kids will worry about what questions will be asked and what they will be doing. In your child’s initial session, the therapist will be building rapport and getting to know you and your child. Many times, parents can tell their child that the therapist will want to know about them, what things they enjoy and what they are proud of. Parents can tell their child to bring in something to show the therapist so that the therapist can know a little more about them, such as their special stuffed animal or a book. When a child brings something to share, it can give them something to focus on and relieve some of their concerns.
4. Be An Advocate For Therapy
Kids are very influenced by their parents. If you want to try and help your child be open to therapy, you need to model and communicate that for them. Subtle comments such as “In the past I have been stuck with my feelings and I had a therapist help me” or “I see you are a little frustrated, this is something the therapist might be able to help you with” can go a long way to help your child feel more comfortable speaking to a therapist.
5. Adjust Your View
In many instances, parents seek out a therapist when an emotion or behavior has gotten out of control. Even if this is the case, make sure you yourself are viewing therapy as something you are doing to help your child and not as something you’re doing because your child is bad. If you view it from this perspective, your child is more likely to view it similarly and may not be open to talking to the therapist.
Setting your child up for success can be overwhelming and feel like a lot of work, however, the hard work on the front end will pay off. Therapy will help your child and family to feel like they have a lot of tools in their toolbox to handle big emotions and difficult situations.
